Before I dive into the topic, let me first distinguish between shy versus introverted.
According to Carol Bainbridge, "Being shy and being introverted aren't the same thing, although they may look the same. An introvert enjoys time alone and gets emotionally drained after spending a lot of time with others. A shy person doesn't necessarily want to be alone but is afraid to interact with others"
Of course, someone can be shy and introverted as well.
While we use the terms interchangeably, there is a difference on what is happening on the inside of the person.
However, on the outside, the signs may appear the same e.g. not talking to others, difficulty being with others, unease at events with lots of people. And for this reason, the tips below would be useful for either the shy or introvert Leader.
Ok, let's dive in!
Either you got that promotion or you started your own business.
You're the manager, you're the boss, you're a Leader.
This is everything you've worked so hard for. You feel like all the sacrifices you made have been worth it.
If you're in business for yourself, sales are coming in and you are getting the hang of this entrepreneurship thing. If you're a Manager at a company, the team is working together well and deliverables are on track.
But sales and deliverables are actually not your biggest headache.
For you, that's the easy part.
There's a part of your role that gives you knots in your stomach.
It's the one part of your job you wish you could delegate.
You know that from everything you’ve read, at some point you will have to get out there and meet people. Your will need to 'network', attend events, connect with new customers, colleagues, industry peers and vendors.
Your logical side gets it. It makes sense. Your emotional side is a whole other story.
You know that meeting people – whether potential clients, your existing fans, or new business relationships – will have a profound influence on the bottom line.
The question is how do put yourself out there when it does not come naturally for you, the Introvert?
After 15 years of working with international business Leaders and Entrepreneurs, I can assure you that your introvert ‘natural wiring’ is not a determining factor to your success as a networker.
I've had the opportunity to help introverted Leaders become confident communicators, savvy networkers and powerful public speakers. It's possible.
Riding a bike is a skill that is learned and networking or connecting with other people is no different.
Back to my riding analogy.
When you were little, did you want to ride so you could master human propulsion on 2 wheels?
No, you wanted to have fun with the other kids on your street. But, you had to learn the techniques of bike riding to get to all that fun and freedom.
You need to keep in focus why you want to go out and meet people.
You are proud of your business or the company your represent. You believe your product or service is going to uplift lives. You enjoy the industry you are in and want to learn about others in the industry. You enjoy hearing about what other people are passionate about.
If you focus only on the technicalities of what you need to do, you risk overthinking it and falling off your bike.
Before any social event practice speaking on front of a mirror or whenever you are alone (the car is a great place, everyone will think you’re on Bluetooth!).
It’s important to train your brain to connect the words in your brain and the physicality of them coming out the way you would like to with matching body language.
Practice looking at yourself giving a handshake, smiling while talking, asking questions and saying a few lines about your work. This way, when you are in an actual scenario, it’s not the first time you are calling on your mental tool box to say something about your business or make eye contact.
Then when you get out there, don't try to remember line for line but improvise based on what you've practiced.
We want the skills we use on the job to be transferable and we also want to be the same person at work and outside of work.
Therefore, your people connection skills are not meant for your only to use for work. Try them out at family gatherings, school events for your children, at the restaurant and even waiting in line at the doctor’s office.
You will soon start to realize that sharing stories, opinions and tips with other people is not something restricted to business related scenarios. This is also one of the best ways to ensure that you get regular practice.
As with any new skill, you will make some blunders here and there. It's all in the learning.
Self-review is useful; over-analyzing and beating yourself is not.
After any event, give a quick think to what worked and what didn't. Decide what you want to repeat e.g. handshake with a smile and eye contact and what you want to get better at e.g. you realized you never asked the other person about their job or business.
And for the introverts, make sure and have some alone time to recharge in between events or while at an event.
The beauty and challenge in communication lies in our individuality. Observe great communicators around you.
What can you be inspired by them to do, in your own way?
I trust that these steps will help you get out there and start having enjoyable and value-add conversation with the people you need to connect with.
As always, your success is at the heart and mind of everything that I do.
Leah
hello@leahdesouza.com
